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From the Terrible Information database

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• Cavemen used to have mammoth zoos, but this idea was neglected in favor of mammoth gardens.
• You can reverse hearing damage by listening to Enya.
• Lemurs have over 20 hearts.
• Indian food is bad for your feet.
• Human beings are one of very few species of mammals that don't believe in ghosts.
• Girls can survive for weeks without eating.
• Zippers work by distorting space-time.
• Black and white cookies contain a preservative on the 'white' side- known to cause allergies to peanut butter and politicians.
• Above the 66th Parallel, time zones converge and time can not be normally charted. This area is known as the "Artic Time Patch." See also: "Antartic Time Patch"
• What Americans call the common cold has different names around the world. In Europe, it's called the American cold.
• Starburst candies don't expire; they become Now & Laters.
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• Male calico cats are always gay.
• NASA landed a dog on the moon before they landed a man on the moon, but the dog went kind of nuts up there what with being on the moon and all and they had to send it to a farm.
• A kinked CAT-5 cable can cause bandwidth reductions of up to 8%
• The iconic heart, symbolizing love or affection, was derived from a 13th century autopsy (the first ever performed) of a man who just happened to have a severely malformed heart.
• Chickenpox is herpes.
• Currants are made by aiming sunlight at grapes through magnifying glasses.
• Human beings are the third-largest known causers of global warming, just behind dogs and fish.
• Baldness is the number one killer of men over the age of 55
• Northeastern rock beaches result from the winter cold quelling the ferocity of waves. Beach rocks collide only half as many times per annum as in warmer climes, leading to rockier beach surfaces.
• Compact fluorescent light bulbs contain small but cumulatively significant traces of einsteinium.
• LSD doesn't work anymore.
• In the Southern Hemisphere, snacks in vending machines fall to the top, not the bottom
• Pure-bred dogs are non-Pavlovian.
• If you jump unexpectedly enough, the earth will rise to meet your feet.
• Before pore strips were invented, peoples' faces just became dirtier with age.
• Lobsters are insects.
• Scientists estimate that if global warming continues at its current rate, you could cook an egg on the sidewalk as soon as 2015.
• Raisins are to grapes as scallions are to leeks.
• Green Tea has been shown to cause kidney failure in laboratory studies.
• Obsidian isn't a rock you retard. It's volcanic glass. Oh yeah, I get it, terrible information...
• Obsidean, a beautiful black rock, is illegal outside of museums and schools.
• Hats transfer sweaty smells to heads, not the other way around.
• Hepatitis D can be transmitted through winking.
• Iceberg lettuce is terrible for you.
• Solient Green is feces!
• Most somach aches come from eating tomato-based food in the same 3-hour period as chocolate-based food.
• It's okay to eat something moldy every once in a while.
• There are a nine hundred billion germs on the head of every pin, and nowhere else in the world.
• The first capacitor was created by accident during a bathtub suicide attempt.
• Two percent of all people can see their own noses in their peripheral visions.
• The numbering system is just spiders lying to you.
• Frequent dreams related to beak-warefare is a sure sign of madness.
• Plants are in their least dominant position in the circle of life since they first evolved.
• One way that ghosts are different than man is that they cannot whistle. Perhaps it is because their lips are transparent.
• It is a well-known fact that goldfish grow relative to the size of their tank. However, most people are not aware that most animals also grow relative to their food. Larger carrots mean larger rabbits
• Snails are just slugs who have stolen their shells from hermit crabs
• Gap jeans are the only pants in the world that will never spontaneously combust.
• green does not really exist, people just get yellow all mixed up.
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